How to Poop Quietly: 10 Effective Tips

We are humans and humans do poop. It’s natural. It is stinky and can sometimes be noisy. However, your poop is your own business and no one else.

Unfortunately, if you share a common bathroom in a busy house or a toilet stall in a communal bathroom, it will be very embarrassing if you poop loudly as everyone will quickly know what you are up to.

Some of the easiest ways to poop quietly are; to close the doors, control the speed, relax before letting the poop out, the time it right, and make some noise.  

In this article, we will discuss this in detail and a few other approaches to help you poop quietly without embarrassing yourself or disturbing anyone.

Easy Ways to Poop Quietly 

Close the Door

This is one of the easiest ways to poop quietly in the closet.  However, it is most convenient to keep the toilet door closed to avoid any chance of embarrassment. If you are using a public facility then you need to close the main doors and every single stall door.  It is vital to close the main doors as it will help block out the noise.

Place a Layer of Toilet Paper in Your Toilet Bowl

You can put some piece of toilet paper on your toilet bowl water. Doing this will help dampen the “splash” sound as your poop hits the water,  hence placing more papers in your toilet bowl will significantly dampen the sound. 

Flush Along the Way  

Noise is a  great way to cover up for poop noise. You will need to make enough noise that no one will hear what they are up to. A simple and unsuspicious way to get this done is to flush the toilet as you poop. 

The flushing function will help cover up any flatulence or splashing noise.  In most cases, people use the courtesy flush to get rid of odors when they are using the bathroom at a friend’s house.

Notwithstanding, if the flush is loud enough, it can put out any noise you may produce. We know it can be wasteful and awkward when people hear you flush more than three times but it works.

Try Coughing Out Loudly

In case you don’t want to flash the toilet more to make people think you have blocked it you can try other noises.  A timely loud cough can do the trick. You can also tap your toilet seat against the cistern or wall. A ceramic toilet seat can be very noisy. You can also consider stamping your foot on the floor. 

Aim at the Side of Your Toilet Bowl 

If your poop directly hits the water it will possibly make a loud splash, hence making it obvious for everyone to know what you are up to. In most cases, if your poop hits the sidewalls of the toilet it will make less noise. This will cut down the loud embarrassing splash noise into a quiet splat.

Rather than sitting fully over the toilet shuffle forward, you can slightly adjust your sitting posture on the toilet. So that your poop will not land directly into the center of your toilet bowl. One thing about this approach is that you may probably leave stains of poop.

To avoid this you need to place papers around the toilet bowl before you go. This will help dampen the sound if you miss it and your poop accidentally lands directly in the water.

Control the Speed 

Sometimes if you force your poop out it will make more loud noise than if you control it and allow it to drop down slowly. Rather than pushing it all out,  simply hold your back and drop out slowly. To relieve yourself easily you need to drink some water before you head for the toilet. 

Consume Less Amount of Dairy Items

It is possible you may not be lactose intolerant and don’t have any allergies as well. But diary has a lot of influence on how we poop. Taking too much dairy can make you spend more time in the water closet than you normally would.  It can also cause you to make more noise than you will. Taking fewer diary items will help you manage the amount of noise you make when you go to the loo.

Relax Before Letting the Poop Out

This is common advice for most gastroenterologists who are familiar with this issue. These experts say that rushing induces uncomfortable pressure in your rectum hence causing a loud bang noise when you drop out your poop. The best remedy to this problem is to relax and allow nature to take its course. However, this also gives your muscles enough time to operate slowly and carefully,  thus producing less noise.

A great way to poop in the water closet is to sit on the pot and relax. You can do this by simply taking a deep breath, keeping it for about 10-15 seconds, and slowly exhaling through your mouth. This will make it easy for your poop to come out slowly without bashing your water closet with a plopping bang noise.

Don’t be desperate to get your poop out.  Being desperate will make you tense and worsen the situation. So you need to relax and let out slowly. 

Time It Right 

If there is a need to go, then you have to go. At least this will help you manage how things happen. There is no bother about pooping too loud when there is no one to hear you.  You can simply make this occur by holding down your pool until you are alone or visiting the toilet before everyone arrives. 

However holding it down is bad for your bladder, so we recommend you free yourself before it becomes very bad.  But the best line of action is to attend the call of nature before your partner, or Roommate wakes up before your colleagues arrive from work, or when there is no one in the public facility. Even though this approach may be difficult, it works.

Make Some Noise

In most instances there may be nothing you can do about how loud your poop comes out,  It just happens and that’s all right.  As you may already know how loud your poop sounds, you can cancel it out with other noises.

Music is great for covering other noises, you can sing your favorite song while attending your call to nature may be the best option but no one will blame you for it. One good thing about this approach is that you can increase the volume to cancel out pooping noise. However, if the song is nice individuals outside the stall may hum along.


Now you have it, with the above procedures at hand you can attend your call of nature without feeling guilty about disturbing your entire neighborhood. Some of these approaches are very simple and easy to do. Read the article clearly and choose the one that works best for you. Bear in mind that there is no shame in pooping loudly, as everyone does it sometimes. Even the enchantress you think doesn’t attend the call of nature. 



Leave a Comment